Last week, I sought advice from a very wise woman, about something I was struggling with in my heart.
I decided, about a month ago, that I wanted to give dating another try. It's not that I was feeling lonely, actually, I've not felt lonely in a while. I think it's just been on my mind, and I felt like I was ready.
(I haven't told my family any of this yet, so if any of you are reading this and finding out for the first time... I'm Sorry. Thank You for reading. Read on.)
So, I sort of felt guilty about wanting to meet somebody. The battle in my heart was this: I wondered if wanting a husband was the same as saying that Jesus is just not enough for me. Oh, that sounds ugly. I didn't want to fall into a trap needing Jesus and [fill in the blank] to be satisfied.
My wise woman challenged me to be very intentional about spending time with Jesus and commit to 30 min a day, not just the haphazard moments I have with him. To soak in the word and lean on him. I've done this, and I can't believe how this past week I feel like I'm simply filled to overflowing with His love. I have a confidence and joy that is hard to describe. Even when I came up against a place that stirred up negative thoughts and disappointment, I was able to rest with confidence that Jesus is ALWAYS faithful.
I might not know the details and the timing, but the one who created time is in control.
In this past year I finally discovered what I believe to be my calling to the medical field, and then delay after delay. I asked a word from God about going back to Africa with my girls, and received the answer of "Yes, but not now."
But God has been so faithful, giving me little gifts that I didn't even realize I was praying for. He's making it obvious to me that I CAN trust him with everything and he will care for my heart, so I don't have to be afraid of anything. Jesus freed me from the bitterness of unforgiveness, and now he is freeing me of other things like resentment, entitlement, and expectations.
I just keep telling myself that I can't even imagine how glorious his plans are for my life. Better than a fairy tale, his story for me is on the shelf next to THE Book of Life. How awesome is that??!!
I hesitate to admit publicly that I have met a man, but I have. I didn't find him, he found me. And I immediately threw a cold bucket of water at him. Awesome. But I didn't scare him off... not yet anyway.
This is when I reached out to my wise woman for advice... I was worried that I would hop off down a rabbit trail away from Jesus, toward this man. I realized that I wasn't taking my relationship with Jesus as serious as I could. So instead of losing myself in the prospect of a new romance, it's actually driving me to become more intimate with Jesus. That has to be a good thing! I'm praying, I'm reading the Bible with new determination, I'm seeking God's will and turning my will over to him. I'm getting my hopes up, but not hanging my hope on this relationship, rather trusting that whatever happens, God has me in the palm of his hand.
This man I've met likes to say "One Day at a Time." Such wisdom. It's now been 11 "One
Day"s since we first met. And I'm grateful for the chance to get to know this wonderful man and at the same time get to know Jesus more deeply. I don't have to worry that this relationship might not work out. If it doesn't work out, I still win, because I've come to experience the faithfulness of my Savior and he's filled me with the certainty that he has everything under control. "Just trust me, I got this." He says.
So there you go... One Day at a Time.
I decided, about a month ago, that I wanted to give dating another try. It's not that I was feeling lonely, actually, I've not felt lonely in a while. I think it's just been on my mind, and I felt like I was ready.
(I haven't told my family any of this yet, so if any of you are reading this and finding out for the first time... I'm Sorry. Thank You for reading. Read on.)
So, I sort of felt guilty about wanting to meet somebody. The battle in my heart was this: I wondered if wanting a husband was the same as saying that Jesus is just not enough for me. Oh, that sounds ugly. I didn't want to fall into a trap needing Jesus and [fill in the blank] to be satisfied.
Jesus, if I could just
get married again,
start school,
lose weight,
have more money,
have more friends,
go on trips.....
then I'll be happy.
It's such an easy place to go, after all we grow up asking God to bless us. But I didn't want to hang my happiness on the chance that finding a good man would make me happy, and then pour my energy into having a relationship - thanking God for blessing me and leaving him in the dust as I ride off into the sunset with Prince Charming.My wise woman challenged me to be very intentional about spending time with Jesus and commit to 30 min a day, not just the haphazard moments I have with him. To soak in the word and lean on him. I've done this, and I can't believe how this past week I feel like I'm simply filled to overflowing with His love. I have a confidence and joy that is hard to describe. Even when I came up against a place that stirred up negative thoughts and disappointment, I was able to rest with confidence that Jesus is ALWAYS faithful.
I might not know the details and the timing, but the one who created time is in control.
In this past year I finally discovered what I believe to be my calling to the medical field, and then delay after delay. I asked a word from God about going back to Africa with my girls, and received the answer of "Yes, but not now."
But God has been so faithful, giving me little gifts that I didn't even realize I was praying for. He's making it obvious to me that I CAN trust him with everything and he will care for my heart, so I don't have to be afraid of anything. Jesus freed me from the bitterness of unforgiveness, and now he is freeing me of other things like resentment, entitlement, and expectations.
I just keep telling myself that I can't even imagine how glorious his plans are for my life. Better than a fairy tale, his story for me is on the shelf next to THE Book of Life. How awesome is that??!!
I hesitate to admit publicly that I have met a man, but I have. I didn't find him, he found me. And I immediately threw a cold bucket of water at him. Awesome. But I didn't scare him off... not yet anyway.
This is when I reached out to my wise woman for advice... I was worried that I would hop off down a rabbit trail away from Jesus, toward this man. I realized that I wasn't taking my relationship with Jesus as serious as I could. So instead of losing myself in the prospect of a new romance, it's actually driving me to become more intimate with Jesus. That has to be a good thing! I'm praying, I'm reading the Bible with new determination, I'm seeking God's will and turning my will over to him. I'm getting my hopes up, but not hanging my hope on this relationship, rather trusting that whatever happens, God has me in the palm of his hand.
This man I've met likes to say "One Day at a Time." Such wisdom. It's now been 11 "One
Day"s since we first met. And I'm grateful for the chance to get to know this wonderful man and at the same time get to know Jesus more deeply. I don't have to worry that this relationship might not work out. If it doesn't work out, I still win, because I've come to experience the faithfulness of my Savior and he's filled me with the certainty that he has everything under control. "Just trust me, I got this." He says.
So there you go... One Day at a Time.
