We had such a crazy full weekend.
Saturday each of the girls had a dance recital, we had pizza together at Mellow Mushroom and Gracie got to show off her moves at her last ballet class of this session.
My dad and our friend Kaelan were there to cheer them on and bring them flowers. This is such a big deal to me for two reasons.
First, it was not easy for either one to come. Dad works 12 hour night shifts and Kaelan has to push through the pain of being in the late stages of cancer to traipse all over town with us.
Secondly... I hate that my children are fatherless. I really wish they had a man who would invest in them... show them fatherly love in the ways only a man can do. It was huge to me that both my dad and friend would cheer for my girls on their big day. (Although it's hard for me to hold it together with the knowledge that sooner or later Kaelan will get to tell the girls' daddy all about their recital - right after he meets Jesus face to face... and that will probably be sooner rather than later.)
After the dancing we got to be honored guests at a party for single moms and their children AND then some wonderful worship at Quest with a fantastic message about the faithfulness of God to fulfill his promises - a fresh reminder for me in a difficult season.
In the middle of all that - I took some quiet time to pray for my friends in Malawi who are really suffering right now - and maybe had a glimpse of something in the future for me.
Sunday we got to celebrate 9 years with my littlest Princess Grace. She got a tiara to remind her that she is royalty, a Christmas puppet show, yummy fried chicken lunch with dear friends and new friends, pierced ears at the mall, froyo from orange leaf, a hilarious night of fun at life group and a long conversation with Grandma Judy.
Is life perfect? No - but it's pretty dang good.
I could dwell on the things that are hard - like the fact that my children's father is G O N E. But why?
I know that my God is faithful. He promises beauty from ashes, and that my grief will be turned to joy. There will be dancing.
Psalm 68:4-6
Sing praises to him who rides the clouds
His name is the Lord --
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows --
this is God whose dwelling is holy.
God places the lonely in families;
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
Oh God - please I beg this of you - be a father to my fatherless girls, Annie and Grace. Defend me. You are the Lord of Heaven's Army; protect me those who would hurt me. Give me wisdom to lead them to your lap Jesus, I want you to be their father, the everlasting Father who never will fail them. I confess that I was putting my hope in others to step forward to help me and I need to trust YOU Jesus. You would never hand me a stone after promising bread. I trust you Jesus when you say, "If sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
OK... I'm drifting off to sleep... any more writing would cease to be coherent.
Good Night,
Sara
Saturday each of the girls had a dance recital, we had pizza together at Mellow Mushroom and Gracie got to show off her moves at her last ballet class of this session.
My dad and our friend Kaelan were there to cheer them on and bring them flowers. This is such a big deal to me for two reasons.
First, it was not easy for either one to come. Dad works 12 hour night shifts and Kaelan has to push through the pain of being in the late stages of cancer to traipse all over town with us.
Secondly... I hate that my children are fatherless. I really wish they had a man who would invest in them... show them fatherly love in the ways only a man can do. It was huge to me that both my dad and friend would cheer for my girls on their big day. (Although it's hard for me to hold it together with the knowledge that sooner or later Kaelan will get to tell the girls' daddy all about their recital - right after he meets Jesus face to face... and that will probably be sooner rather than later.)
After the dancing we got to be honored guests at a party for single moms and their children AND then some wonderful worship at Quest with a fantastic message about the faithfulness of God to fulfill his promises - a fresh reminder for me in a difficult season.
In the middle of all that - I took some quiet time to pray for my friends in Malawi who are really suffering right now - and maybe had a glimpse of something in the future for me.
Sunday we got to celebrate 9 years with my littlest Princess Grace. She got a tiara to remind her that she is royalty, a Christmas puppet show, yummy fried chicken lunch with dear friends and new friends, pierced ears at the mall, froyo from orange leaf, a hilarious night of fun at life group and a long conversation with Grandma Judy.
Is life perfect? No - but it's pretty dang good.
I could dwell on the things that are hard - like the fact that my children's father is G O N E. But why?
I know that my God is faithful. He promises beauty from ashes, and that my grief will be turned to joy. There will be dancing.
Psalm 68:4-6
Sing praises to him who rides the clouds
His name is the Lord --
Father to the fatherless, defender of widows --
this is God whose dwelling is holy.
God places the lonely in families;
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.
Oh God - please I beg this of you - be a father to my fatherless girls, Annie and Grace. Defend me. You are the Lord of Heaven's Army; protect me those who would hurt me. Give me wisdom to lead them to your lap Jesus, I want you to be their father, the everlasting Father who never will fail them. I confess that I was putting my hope in others to step forward to help me and I need to trust YOU Jesus. You would never hand me a stone after promising bread. I trust you Jesus when you say, "If sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.
OK... I'm drifting off to sleep... any more writing would cease to be coherent.
Good Night,
Sara
