The Future - Unknown

So as far as the future goes.... wow.


Here's some ideas:

Dating:   Yeah, I know it's kind of crazy.  This is what I alluded to in my previous post talking about considering pursuing a graduate degree, in marriage.   I'm not interested in dating a bunch of people just for the heck of it.  I don't want to be the kind of woman that parades men in and out of my kid's life.   I have two daughters, age 7 and 11.  The youngest has been asking for me to bring home a new dad ever since Roger died.   So I need to protect her little heart from getting too attached to someone that is not right for our family.  At first I was really convinced that I wanted to get married again when the time was right... now I'm not so sure.  Independence from 'the man' is starting to be kind of nice, and if I get involved with someone, then I will no longer be the leader of our little family.  Right now, I can kind of do anything I want.  If I get a wild idea that I want to move to Indonesia, there's nobody to stop me. But I can never be a Dad for my kids, and I think they might benefit from having a Step-Dad.

The Apostle Paul gives advice about this in the Bible:
The younger widows should not be on the list [for the church to support], because their physical desires will overpower their devotion to Christ and they will want to remarry. Then they would be guilty of breaking their previous pledge.  And if they are on the list, they will learn to be lazy and will spend their time gossiping from house to house, meddling in other people’s business and talking about things they shouldn’t. So I advise these younger widows to marry again, have children, and take care of their own homes. Then the enemy will not be able to say anything against them. For I am afraid that some of them have already gone astray and now follow Satan.

-1 Timothy 5:11-15

So I think I'll try it out a bit... I might even have lunch with someone new next week.  Did anybody see that coming?  Heh heh heh.... Yeah, I got a few cards up my sleeve.  I'm not going to reveal too much right now... we'll just have to see.


What else?  
Well, I wasn't kidding about Indonesia.  I have wanted to go to the island of Lombok for years now.  Why Lombok?  I don't exactly know.  It's beachy, that is nice, but it's also not as developed as other beachy places.    I am more interested in visiting rural or off-beat places, not big tourist destinations.  I've wanted to visit Russia ever since I was little (which is when it was still the communist USSR)  I've wanted to visit China, Eastern Europe, (OK ANY Europe) Iceland, rural England or Scotland, Peru, and Africa too.  Of course, I got to visit Africa in 2009 and LOVED it.  (I'll blog about that too... don't worry.)  I've also considered visiting Jamaica too after volunteering this fall for the Nash Brighton Project.

So how does a poor widow on a fixed income get to travel to or even live in any of these exotic locales?  There's the million dollar question.   Here's the more important question though...  Is my INTENSE desire to get out of here something that God planted in me for a bigger purpose?   I don't really care much about self-gratification.  It makes me sick to think of spending loads of time and resources on my own selfish pleasure.  How could I just sit on the beach, when I could be out there making the world a better place for people who are less fortunate than me AND more importantly...  helping drag people from the gates Hell. (Does that sound too dramatic to you?  I'll blog about that later too.)


I think I have the answer. I'm going to need some major feedback on this one people.

TESOL.   Huh?  What is that? Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages.  It's a career where I work either in the States OR abroad!  There are some issues surrounding this that make it a little tricky.
#1 I'm not a teacher!
#2 I don't want to be a teacher, and don't generally like kids.  American children especially get on my nerves.  I do love my own children... a lot.  But I'm not a kid person, never was, even when I was a kid myself.  The kids in school were mean to me and mean to the teachers.  I never wanted any of that punishment heaped on me.   Going to Africa though was kind of therapeutic, because I LOVED working with the Malawian children.  They were wonderful, so it gives me hope in that area.
#3 I don't know how to get certified in this area or how I would ever get hired.
#4 What do I do with my kids if we move to a foreign country?  Would they hate it?  What kind of school would they go to?  Would I have to home school them?  Who would watch them while I was working?  How do I keep them from being sold to sex traffickers?  (Seriously!!! My kids are gorgeous and it's a risk!)
#5 Future husband? *GULP* That's a whole 'nother can of worms.
#6 Does God want to use me this way, or am I just grasping at straws, trying to figure things out myself and not relying on Him.


Wow, that was exhausting.


Comments PLEASE!!!!!  Honestly, that's a big part of why I'm doing this.